All I want for Christmas...

Is a warm mist humidifier to warm up my room and hydrate my skin that loves humidity...


A cd of Glee's greatest hits...













Cds that I "love Today"...



Tickets to see the best band in the history of bands...










And an out-of-space convertible, too. Light blue.

My New Puppy Is Cuter Than Yours

I like this love thing. I like that whenever I want I can reach out and grab someone's hand and they'll squeeze right back. I like that I can pucker my lips and know a kiss is imminent. It may sound bad but I'd say having a relationship is like owning a pet. You can scratch your dog's ear, the deepest, most profound way to show your love and you get a best friend and companionship in return. Not that dog's aren't a lot of work. No, not by a long shot. If you forget to feed your dog or neglect to pet and play with it, it could run away from you for a new and better owner. In it's foray into the unknown it could get run over by a car or worse. But it's not all bad. Even though they eat out of the trash, drink out of the toilet bowl and make us watch football all the time, somehow we love them anyway and they love us right back.

Oh! Hey blog! I almost forgot about you...

The contrast between life goals in Maine and Florida are stunning but not surprising. The more I talk to other kids the more I fear what it would be like to be stuck here. A large amount of kids don't plan on college and my school has the highly acclaimed title of having the highest teen pregnancy rate in Maine. Neither of these things, I'm sure, are in my future. But I'm sorry for these kids who will never even try to meet a handsome successful businessman in New York, who will never even think to aspire to be an intern for a fashion magazine or never ever have those tiny moments filled with delusions of grandeur and stardom. Somehow they think they'd be content marrying a fisherman and living in a small house by the sea... or route 1. While that may not sound all too bad to someone in Rockland taking all TVP courses, it sounds like a cage to me.

The next thing I'd like to address is how people manage to stay in relationships for so long. Before now, I don't think any of my what I like to call "relationships" have ever lasted more than a week. I'd lie to myself and round up to a week and that was just lying to myself. To other people a week would turn into one month or two depending on how lonely I felt that day. Now I've been dating my new boyfriend for almost a month and that, my friends, is a fact! Not some lie I tell to make myself feel better! Go me! Our first kiss was October 8th when we spent the night watching a movie. The movie was terrible but what I remember was us, over the course of the movie, inch by inch, moving closer and closer to one another until we were holding hands and then cuddling and then in the very last ten minutes of the movie I asked him "so are you going to kiss me before I fall asleep?" which led to our very first kiss. By now you can bet your bottom dollar I have a goofy smile on my face and trust me, I'd had a goofy smile on my face from the moment I met the kid. But still, I'm starting to question how I keep this guy on his toes and interested. Any advice?

Content in our Chaos

If it wasn't completely absurd, socially incorrect, and making money didn't matter, I'd quit school right now. More and more I look and see people unhappy. I see how short life is and I'm sitting behind a desk waiting for it to catch up with me. After school is High School, after that is college, then a job, then a husband, then kids and I ask myself where enjoying myself fits in there. According to the all-knowladgeable and thoughgtful Plato, "No town can live peacefully, whatever it's laws when it's citizens ...do nothing but feast and drink and tire themselves out in the cares of love". Are you out there Plato? Are you listening? You're wrong. We'd all be much happier. We'd sleep all day and party all night and hell yes, we'd be content if only for a little while.

Wanting and Having are Two Very Different Things

I want
I wantIwantIwantIwantIwantwantwant
If I say I want a icecream I can go on knowing I'll eventually get an icecream.
I want somebody who makes me happy.
There.
Now it's only a matter of time

Bring on the tide...

I wish life were like the ocean. Yes, the waves will push you in every direction and your feet will blemish the sand but in real life the tide isn't going to wash all of your crazyness away...

I wish I could be myself around hot guys. I always tell myself to be cool. He's just another dude, after all. But when wave after wave of handsome calm, cool and collected push you and turn you around. What the fuck are you supposed to do? You get one night. One night to make an impression. I sure did make an impression all right but I'm not sure if it was quite the impression I wanted to convey. I just sat around all night asking myself where the cool, confident Alex went because all I see is a girl word-vomiting all over an Abercrombie model.

P.S. I love you

I wonder how it feels to think you love somebody but they tell you "No, no. Sorry, actually you don't" and you never talk to them again. I sure as hell hope it doesn't happen to me but this summer I've been on the opposite end...

"Dear, Alex
Sorry I was weird around you. But I'm Just shy around you. I don't know how to say...this without Being weird. So I'm Just going to say it...I'm...I Love you. I know this is very creepy. That I'm telling you this through a paper. I could have told you in person. But I find it Rude to saythis infront of your friend. Kelsie And if youare wondering why I find it Rude it's Because, I don't wan't to Be a *problem in your friend ship with Kelsie."

your friend

Mike Calhoun
MiKe calhoun

ps. If you don't feel the same about this Lovly feeling then don't worry about hurting mine...or we could Be Just friends.



my # 630-225-6112
callsometime


*what I mean By Problem I mean causing Jealisy

Wicked Annoying.

What's with the word "wicked" up here? I'm thinking there's this game I'm not in on where you try to say it in regular conversation as often as possible. The person who uses it most while sounding the least ridiculous wins. There is no other word in the english language used nearly as often as "wicked" is in New England. Camaaaan New Englanders, expand your vocabulary.

And they lived happily ever after...

I can't wait. I cannot wait for my life to start! I can't wait to be the new girl, I can't wait to go to college, I can't wait to party, I can't wait to fall in love, I can't wait to get married. I can't wait to mean something to somebody.


You know, I'm beginning to realize I just can't sit around waiting for something amazing to happen to me; I need a plan. I can be anything I want in the world - there is no such thing as "can't" when you're still as young as I am. I want to first figure out what I want to be. Legitimately, seriously, sit down and figure it all out realistically but in a perfect world, I'd go to college for something completely badass and adventurous like _____(I can't think of anything at the moment)_____ where i would meet an extremely rich, adventurous and handsome man. We'd fall in love while doing tons of amazing things like skydiving near Mt.Everest, becoming pro white water rafters and rafting on the most intense rivers in the world, helping people build communities in foreign countries, visiting the pyramids, going on a safari and wrestling a crocodile, taking a three month trip backpacking through Europe and camping and hiking in extremely minimal conditions. Our whirlwind romance would lead to an engagement with an amazingly expensive ring which would lead to a tasteful but large spring wedding in a charming church with the reception held in a perfectly manicured garden brimming with every color of flower imaginable. We would leave extremely happy lives in our many houses in many countries. Never wanting for anything. We would have two gorgeous children that look mostly like him with only my most attractive features tossed in. The first would be a boy with dark hair(like him) and the second would be a girl born almost exactly two and a half years later with blond hair (like me). They'd grow up in the states only a little sheltered and become wealthy fun-loving people. My aged but still handsome husband and I would live out the last of our lives in either France or Italy still hopelessly in love and oh-so content. The end

the draft that made me laugh

My birthday was yesterday. 16. Sweet, sweet sixteen. Why can't every day be my birthday? Everybody's extremely nice and nobody says "no". My wish was kinda like that. I want to meet someone who gives me that every day of my life.

Warpedtourwarpedtourwarpedtour!!! Three days

cristiano ronaldo is hot!

Homeless

Geesh. Tears are pouring down my face. I didn't even feel them fall. I'm freaked out. I feel so unimportant. All of our stuff fits in two storage rooms and the things I actually need can be put into two backpacks that are in the trailer we're towing. The city is nolonger mine. Before this I never considered St. Petersburg one of my possessions but now that it's gone my homelessness is crashing down on me. Will the next city truly be mine?

The Road Less Traveled

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.(hopefully)

"I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas"

I no longer live in my childhood home. It was all inevitable, though so what's the big deal? There are a ton of things I already miss like the sound of our stampede when dad ran the bell for dinner- five steps at a time down the stairs and the occasional bump or bruise from an end table and going on runs from my house down 7th avenue past the church and the dog park(I stopped taking Tigger there when I realized he'll forever be anti-social), past the baseball field where my grandpa used to play softball, Northshore pool where I took swim classes, first learned to swim, and aspired to lifeguard when I was old enough oh and remember Joe Boxer? Haha good times. I also met my friend Sage there for the first time and I'll bet that's where I first worked up the courage to jump off the high dive. Next to the pool was the parking lot where I first put the pedal to the metal and drove a car. Last, past the pink Vinoy hotel was Vinoy park where I crowd surfed for the first time to the Shiny Toy Gun's "Le disco" at 97x's first annual Backyard BBQ and attended Warped Tour for the very first time. I would run down the long stretch of sidewalk to the edge of the water and from there I could see the multicolored upside down Pier where I fished for the first time but still to this day have never caught a fish, Albert Whitted Airport where I used to go to air shows with my dad, spa beach where my grandparents first met, and across the bay to Tampa where Kelsey used to live. The sky was so clear and blue It's been etched into my mind in stark contrast to the crisp white sailboats that danced through the water. There on the edge of the sea I would catch my breath...

Today in the shower I started singing "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas" and it occurred to me that that song is rooted in the truth that white Christmases actually do exist and this year I'll get mine. When I drive away from St. Petersburg I'll be crying and smiling at the same time. Crying because I'll be saying goodbye to everything I've truly ever known and hoping that someday I won't be expecting to turn left off of forth and drive down seventh to my green house with a red front door guarded by three tall, prickly palm trees. I'll be smiling because I know I'm going to get my white Christmas.

qsdfghjk

Does anybody besides me want to be saved? Please someone turn my life upside down. It's already backwards, another rotation won't kill me. I'm completely in over my head and I want to be salvaged before any more of me is destroyed. I feel like I'm not the came confident, random, funny, weird Alex and I miss me. The new person who took my place is boring. Whoever she is, she's evidently easily replaceable. It really makes me question my originality. I'm hoping this move is what I need. There's this Alex somewhere under other Alex layers that believes my soulmate is just on the other end of this Thornberry adventure. That little tiny nugget of hope left in my Pandora's box is all I've got left. I'm putting the possibility of love on everything near and dear to my heart. Let's hope it's worth it.

Reailty Hurts.

I'm packing my room. Who knew I had so much stuff? And how the hell did it all fit in my room? It's like everything multiplied in size. I'm also suffering from a serious nostalgia rush right now. I'm designating a box just for nostalgia. I'm going to call it my "Nostalgia Box". Please applaud me for my creativity.

I'm supposed to be doing three things right now. Packing, checking to make sure my 11 year old brother hasn't killed himself, and homework. I however, only want to be doing something else - reading sappy predictable romance novels.

Sayonara, Keanu Reeves.

Soohohohoooh... I'm moving. Finally. Happy? Sad? Happysadhhappysadhappdhapadshsad. It's starting go blend together. I want to document every crack in every sidewalk and every leaf on the tree outside my room. It's impossible. Imagine saying that with a french accent 'cause that's what I just did - an accent on the 'e'.

Hola guapo!

What I look for:
1. Love for life/ knows how to have fun (childlike)
-My mom invited this guy who was infatuated with me to a party we were having. This guy's coming from a debate fight/tournament(?) thingy so he shows up in a suit which is okay until my mom practically has to wrestle it off of him. Now i'm getting ahead of myself here... I was in the middle of a invigorating game of hide-and-go-seek with kids half my age when he arrived. I ended up just sitting around talking to him the whole party because he wasn't willing to play along. Suffice it to say, the party ended up being a bust because of him. No offence incredibly intelligent rich guy who aspires to be a plastic surgeon, but you're not my cup of tea.

2. You have to make me laugh.
...Period.

3. 8+ on the attractive scale
I've tried to pretend this wasn't important but it really is. How can you feel comfortable in a relationship if you're not compatible in the looks category? This probably sounds bad on all kinds of different levels but if you're not attracted to somebody, how will it work? I'm not saying you have to be an Abercrombie and Fitch model - not that it doesn't hurt ;). No, i just want to be attracted to you.


What's caliente

5. Gentleman. Open doors. Pull out chairs. Carry bags. Walk her to her car. It's refreshing, it really is. It doesn't hurt, seriously. It makes a good impression and it sets you apart from the other guys. However, "incredibly intelligent rich guy who aspires to be a plastic surgeon" was over the top with this. I didn't think it's possible to take this too far but he did. F.Y.I. if my bag's already on my shoulder, I say "I've got it" and I've already started walking in the other direction, it basically means "I've got it" and does not give you permission to yank it off my arm.

4. Smell. Oh man. If I'm walking down the hallway and I smell somebody delicious I'm like "daaaamnnnnnnnn!" (internally, of course). It doesn't matter if you're the most unattractive person in the world, if you smell good then you're infinitely more attractive and approachable. People will go out of their way to tell you how great you smell. Now, this definitely has the potential to be taken waaaay too far. Three little spritzes on your neck is perfect. (one under each point on your jaw and one in the middle of your neck)

3. Abs. Pretty self explanatory. Taking care of your body is muy caliente. If girls want to get a closer look at your abs at the beach then that's one step closer you are to a girl in a bikini. Literally. If you're one of those guys who think real girls don't care if you have muscles or not, then when your mommy planted that little flaming B.S. seed in your head to make you feel better about yourself, she made a huge mistake. I'm not saying all guys without abs are lepers. What I'm saying is, those crunches completely help your cause. It's not a make or break deal but really? Girls in bikinis? Is that a price you're willing to pay?

2. Protective. Now, this only works if a girl is totally, completely 100% into you. Also, if you're currently in possession of any two of the caliente qualities number one, three, four, and five, being protective is all the more sexy in my book. Be protective. If some guy disses your girl, defend her honor! Don't kill the guy but if she's really upset, I think you're welcome to dish it out. Just don't do it at school, kiddies and stop when she tells you to stop.

1. Biceps. When I think big, strong arms I think of strength and security. A rock in every sense of the word. There's something about the stark contrast between a girl's small frame and a guy's big arms enveloping her that just turns me to mush. This is by far my favorite caliente quality in the book



Different girls have different opinions, I'm sure and this list may be totally backward for someone else but this is just life according to Alex.

Ouch.

Have you ever felt like you were kicked in the gut when you really had no right to? Have you ever wondered if someone ever thinks about you when it should be the other way around? Didn't think so.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.

1. I got a romper from forever21
2. I want to move to another country. Britain is actually at the top of my list. Why?
3. The seeexy accents
4. Oh yeah, right I developed ringworm. Tasty
5. Today I bought a strawberry ice cream. The sunburn I got today whoops my strawberry ice cream in the color department ten times over
6. Back to the accents, I always worried that foreigners would totally think my American accent was stupid, unoriginal, and just a mockery of language in general. But when I think about it, how can so many people think British accents are so hot and intriguing without a considerable amount of people thinking the same of American accents?
7. I finished the forth installment of that "halfway in the grave", "practically in the grave", "at the end of the grave"(or something along those lines) series and I loved it. It's my favorite vampire series if not my favorite series overall. I couldn't get enough. The undead hottie Bones had me swooning. AND. HE'S. BRITISH. Alas, the next book won't be released until February 2011 so until then I'll have to find myself some undead/paranormal romance elsewhere.
8. I suck

Time is the Fire in Which We Burn

What do you want to be when you grow up? This question has been haunting the recesses of our minds since the beginning of elementary school. Especially mine. First I wanted to be an astronaut. Then I wanted to be the president, a firefighter, and a lawyer - in that order. What's a girl to do? Being a sophomore in high school, I've been told that I don't need to worry about it yet but with college so close, how can I not? There are so many options. I'd like to know what I want to be so I can choose a corresponding major and go to a school with a strong program known for that major. Then there's always the fear that I'll pick a major and then change my mind and since the economy's not doing so hot, I've heard that colleges are starting to make students pay for the class they switch out of. I'm also fretting over what electives I should choose for next year. Should I choose academic electives that will look good on my transcript? Should I take that SAT prep class? Or should I learn how to play piano like I've always wanted to do? It's safe to say I now have a headache.

You're spaced out on sensation. Like you're under sedation.

Monologues are my forte, I must say... Lately I've found myself looking at Forever21's website wanting an unrealistic amount of clothes. Including an even larger unrealistic amount of rompers. "Why?" you ask. Well, they look almost impossibly comfortable and I don't own a single one yet.



On a second note, I'd like to express how completely obsessed I am with this book at the moment. The reason for my obsession might be rooted in the fact that I'm anxiously waiting for the follow-up to be available at my library (I'd be living on the streets with hundreds of books if I bought them). The book is moderately chiche but the heroine's love interest keeps me glued to each page. Halfway to the Grave is one of those books where you want to savor each word while wanting to rush to the end to see how it turns out. The book started out a little rough for me because of Jeaniene Frost's unique writing style but I quickly adapted. If I don't get the next book by Thursday, I'm going to be seriously upset!

Thanks for reading!
- Alex